The Worst First Date I Ever Went On

When I was about sixteen, I had a church leader who told a group of girls my age about a terrible first date she went on when she was our age. Basically, she ended up pushing the guy’s car when it broke down while he steered it. And from that day, I began to anticipate when I would go on a horrible date.

And then it came.

It was the summer before my sophomore year of college. I was working at the Development Office at USU (where all the donations go) and one of my assignments was to go find information about people by looking at their college transcripts, which were kept in a walk-in vault. (Let’s just say this job was like being a professional stalker.) Some of the transcripts were on microfilms, so I would sit on a little stool in this giant vault and read them for a few hours.

There I sat, minding my own business. People would occasionally walk through as I worked and I never really paid attention to them. Then someone stopped and started talking to me.

“Are you working with microfilages?” (In my mind: What the crap is a microfilage?)

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’ve noticed you walking through here before. What’s your name?”

“Julie. Yours?”

(Let’s call him “Huey” just cause it’s more fun to read/say than some generic name, like John.)

Then he says, “I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner. How’s next Wednesday?”

“Uh………………….I don’t know. I’m trying to think of what my schedule is next week.”

“You don’t know?” (Uh, dude. I was not expecting some guy to walk in to a giant vault were I’m working and ask me on a date. Sorry. Guess I should anticipate these things a little more…)

I said it should work and then we exchanged numbers. Then I got back to the office where I worked and found out Huey was 26 years old. I was 19. It was a little too weird for me…

To summarize, things got switched around and we ended up going to lunch on Thursday.

Now I want orange chicken…

We went to the Hub, which is a dining place on campus, and got some food. Orange chicken…yum! Then we started to chat. I don’t know how we got on the subject, but I told him about how I was going to get braces in about a month. I explained that it was a major bummer because I was hoping to go on a Mormon mission when I was 21 and braces would prevent me from doing so.

Huey looked at me and in a rude tone said, “Oh, I’m soooooo sorry!”

Thinking he heard me wrong, I repeated my dilemma. Same tone. “Oh, I feel so bad for you.” Keep in mind this guy had gone on a mission. (I believe it was at about this moment that I knew I wanted the date to be over. Note to guys out there: Give the girl some respect!)

Then we started walking around campus and then he kept trying to grab my hand. (Thank goodness for pockets!) At one point, I talked about how I missed California. He went to nudge me with his elbow and said, “Utah isn’t so bad, right?” Except his nudging was very forceful, which made me lose my balance and I almost fell over onto the grass.

At this point, I looked at him and said, “Alright! I need to get back to work.” We walked to the outside of the building where I worked and awkwardly hugged good-bye.

Looking back on it, it’s a hilarious story for me. In the moment, not so much. Good thing I know now that a first date can be enjoyable and not one frustration after another!

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